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Confidence, they say, is everything. But how do we garner such aplomb from a place of surrender and submission? An enigma, no doubt, yet one I've come to address both through my personal experiences and my work as a BDSM educator. Mi nombre es Teresa, a thirty-two-year-old Mexican woman and I’ll be taking you through this deliciously intricate maze of power dynamics. In my world, it's not as black and white as one might think, and it can often be a dance, a tender tango, between strength and surrender. And yes darling, I am speaking from vibrant, tantalizing anecdotes. The first time I began to grasp the nerve-wracking complexity of this dance, was with Luis, an intriguing partner back in Oaxaca, my hometown. We were exploring the dynamics of Dominance and submission, a territory I hadn't yet delved into deeply. I was the submissive one, and simultaneously, the paradox struck me like a lightning bolt. How was I to be confident as I surrendered to his every command? It felt like trying to walk a tightrope during a tempest, balancing these polar forces within me. But being the stubborn mujer I am, I was not about to back out. Instead, I embraced the challenge and employed my sensual investigator within to dig deeper. It was one night, under the ambient glow of stubborn candle flames that I realized submission, in its purest form, was a state of trust, a metaphysical act of courage and confidence. I was not only surrendering my desires, but I was also entrusting Luis with my needs, my limitations, and my pleasure. Tell me, isn't that confidence, in its most vulnerable state? Fast forward a few years later to the heart of Mexico City, where I now educate folks about BDSM. A phrase I find myself often muttering is, "This one's viral," referring to the false notion of submission equating to weakness. I see them, these bright-eyed students, thirsty to understand yet weighed down by societal constructs. But each class presents its own mini-revolution, as we deconstruct these stale beliefs together, replacing them with the potent truth of our experiences. So here is what I teach, and wholeheartedly believe; submission is not the lack of will, it’s an earnest choice. It's the boldness to trust another with your body and mind, to explore the boundaries of pleasure and pain, to seek contentment in the arch of surrender. It is a dance that requires the strength of vulnerability and the courage to trust, and what could be more confident than that? Yes, confidence is everything and at its core, it’s about knowing who you are and what you crave. Be it dominance, submission, or anything else under the sun – it's about owning it and exploring it without fear. That, my dear, is the ultimate power. No matter what position you choose in the dance of BDSM, always remember, you can—and should—command it with the unshakeable confidence of a tempest in a teacup.